thanks! i'm not so much looking for a concrete answer because, hey, that never works. but moreso on how someone approaches to answer this. or attempt to. :-)
well, i don't think they call it "falling" for nothing ... it does feel like you've fallen into something, and before you know it, you realize you're so far in that you don't know what to do about it. and for me, it all happens when i'm not paying attention. i'm focused on what-to-buy-for-the-birthday and where-are-we-going-to-dinner-tomorrow and do-you-really-want-to-meet-the-family. by the time i get to the point of acknowledging that he doesn't annoy me and that i prefer to be with him than without him, i'm done. toast. in it to win it.
Hm... For me it was an interesting experience. The man I fell in love with I'd known since I was 9, so it wasn't like a strangers across the room/Cinderella/birds singing/so this is love moment. It was more like waking up after a long illness, and feeling healthy for the first time. There was this moment where we were standing outside a theater talking about the movie we'd just seen (it was me, the man, and a bunch of our friends) and he kind of clapped me on the shoulder laughing, he was actually being a bit of a condescending prick, but I looked at him and thought, "I want to do this every weekend for the rest of my life". Another friend of ours later told me that she'd seen that exact moment and thought, "OMG, L is in love with Ken!" I don't know what else to say. There's two kinds of love I've experienced, the first is hot and passionate and needy and feels a little like drug withdrawal, and the second is warm and comforting and you just want to have it with you every night. The second is what I chose to keep, and I'm glad I did. I just looked at him, and I knew. I knew that he was the one person who could force me out of myself. Now I'm rambling. Sorry. :)
because i need something to take my mind off of things.....
i am a very independent person. i hate to cuddle, don't want to share the bed, and feel suffocated very easily. but when i really, really fell in love... it was the first time that i ever wanted to cry everytime i had to leave him. could not wait for him to call me. thought he hung the moon. could not bear to be lying next to him and not touching him. slept cuddled up with him. counted the minutes until i saw him. and i know that this sounds so so so very lame, but it's true. you stop thinking "i" and start thinking "we". he entered into my thinking all the time. i spent my moments trying to think of things to make him happy, when i wasn't basking in how lucky i was. on the other hand..... when we fought, and broke up a few times, and finally for good.... i have never, ever, ever had a pain come close to that. but that's for a different post.
I agree with Roboco. It is stressful, crazy, exhilarating, mind-blowing, joyful, mind-screwing thing. When you finally hear them say those three little words and see that they mean it it is overwhelming.
There's two kinds of love I've experienced, the first is hot and passionate and needy and feels a little like drug withdrawal, and the second is warm and comforting and you just want to have it with you every night. The second is what I chose to keep, and I'm glad I did. I just looked at him, and I knew. I knew that he was the one person who could force me out of myself.
I'm going to have to agree with this. I think the first type of love described here is what you would describe as the first time you fall in love, your very first love that you'll always remember. The second is the one that you grow into, the mature type of love. Sometimes the first can grow into the second, but it definitely takes time. I wish I could describe it better, but it's definitely a feeling that hits you when you least expect it and sometimes all it takes is one moment, even the simplest one, to just know.
steve and i had that crazy, magical, fireworks, stars in your eyes, hot passion, can't stay away from each other love. it started out like that. and i really didn't think it would last. and i never had that before. the chemistry was insane.
as we got to know each other and appreciate each other, it mellowed a little, sure. but it doesn't make our love any less passionate. it's a little more comfortable, but it's really nice. it's not boring. and it doesn't suck. ;P hehe.
both kinds of love are nice. and i guess i'm especially lucky that i got to have both kinds of love with the same person. :)
there are a lot of deer in the headlight moments mixed with roller coaster rides and the same feeling you get with a steak perfectly cooked and your favorite beer thrown in with getting caught with your pants down along with the overall ambience of everything making sense.
Well, Kendra dear, since you ask - I've had three serious relationships in my life. The first two my stomach hurt all the time, whether we were having a good time or not. The second time, in fact, my stomach hurt for twenty years until my divorce.
Two bad relationships are enough for anyone, especially when you've had one that lasted as long as that second one. So the third time I met a man I was interested in, I wasn't going to fall in love. Except a funny thing happened. From the first time we were together my stomach felt great, you know, sort of the way it feels after you've had a really fun laugh - that relaxed, floaty, happy feeling?
I decided maybe I should listen to my stomach this time. And that's when I realised I wasn't in love those first two times. It was more like I was in heat. I've been with this man through many bad and good things, including the death of a child.And though my stomach hurt for that and many other reasons, it still always feels best when I'm snuggled up to him.
As for the rest, I have to go with everything Grrrace said.
In conclusion, when you meet a man, TRUST YOUR STOMACH, NOT YOUR HORMONES.... Happy Valentine's Day!
Gee, everyone pretty much said what really needed to be said... guess the only thing left to be said is, that being in love is like swimming in the ocean. Tiring, exhilirating, easily overwhelming if you don't know what you're doing, full of dangerous things that will eat you alive, lots of nice things to see and do and hard to describe to someone who's never been.
Oh and you get really really wet... whichever way you want to take that statement :P
I could make more metaphors about it (I'm sure I could do something about that feeling of having sand in your swimmers...) but that would take the tone of your blog down to my level... we can't have that *grin*
well, the last time it happened (with fiance), it wasn't something i planned. in fact, at the time i was determined that wouldn't happened. i was just looking to have fun, and for nothing serious. but then one morning, while we were both getting ready for work, i just looked over at him while he was tying his tie. i was putting on my make up or something. and it just hit me. i could do this every morning for the rest of my life. it was totally out of the blue. but, i knew that this was going to be someone significant in my life, and someone i wanted to be around for the rest of it. it was just something i knew when i looked at him.
so, i'd say it's something you don't always plan. and not something you can force. and you'll know it when it happens. it's more of an indescribable feeling.
one thing that's pretty interesting about the whole deal is that I think truly loving yourself leads you to truly loving someone else. the two times in my life when I've been the most settled with myself were the two times I ended up in a serious relationship...and that really is the correct order of occurrence. the first time was love and was "destined" to happen...the second time was pretty forced...and turned out to be learned to live with rather than loved to learn with. who knows if love will ever happen to me again. I need to work on myself first...so, that said, as soon as you forget to look at the mirror and judge whether or not you're doing well...as soon as you're simply content with your own life...look out! It is at that moment when you're emotional available and love works its amazing ways and you may find yourself in the middle of it without even knowing it. at least that's how it happened to me. I think the stomach churning thing is a big deal. when you're stomach settles, feels like a marshmellow, with someone, that's when you know it's special. I've only really felt that once...14 years ago. nice job getting everyone to write your post for you this time! hilarious. you definitely hit a soft spot in all of us.
For me I had a hard time reconciling the concept of love holding me to just one woman for the rest of my life. So it was never a head-over-heels emotional thing for me, but a more casual click that things were so right and worked. I fell in love with a person I could be friends with and be around, but was still able to maintain an identity that was seperate from that person. It's worked out very well and while I don't pine over Tash every minute we're apart, I honestly can't see myself sharing my life with anyone else.
For me it has been different every time. I don't believe Love is a single event or a constant state. It changes, grows, cowers, flies out the window, snuggles into me, explodes, and sometimes dies of natural causes. The word is too often used as if it describes one feeling or even one set of circumstances. I hesitate to apply it to many things, because it is such a loaded word.
What it feels like? Sometimes it feels like I've taken Ecstasy. Sometimes it's warm, safe, comfortable, solid. Sometimes it is scary, like jumping off a tall building without knowing if there's a net below or not. So far, none of these feelings has ever stayed constantly in long or short relationships. It is a moving target.
Honestly, I could talk about love for hours on end. Im in love with it.
However, I will spare you and give just a brief snippetified version of some key things.
Im a very passionate person, always have been always will be. And I know what I like. I might not be able to articulate it, but I always *know* when I see it. Clothes, Music, Art, Women ... it doesnt matter. I think it has something to do with seeing the world in shades of potential.
For me, falling in love is basically a three stage process.
The first stage, I am ambling along with a smile on my face. Suddenly, I get this preternatural feeling in my body. As if I *just* realized that I am Wiley Coyote, and have walked off of a cliff. Im suspended in air for a moment, defying gravity - a bit confused. But I *know* that drop is coming, as I look down.
Fwooomph! (To The Second Stage)
Here is where it gets really crazy. I am keenly aware that I am plummeting. To what exactly? I am not sure. My body is too wrapped up in the moment to really question what is going on. All of my cells are firing. Screaming. It feels like the whitest noise I could possibly imagine. Smells are intense. I can feel the air around me, meandering along my skin. Vision is blurred in a tehcnicolor whirl behind the face of my attraction - who is in hyper focus. A vivid pallette of color. I can taste the anticipation, its sweet and salty at the same time. Like taffy.
All the while, Im falling quickly, overwhelmed and confuddled. Like the first time I went on a rollercoaster. My stunned brain wants to plug its ears and figure out why I am going down, but my stomach is going up.
And then Shoooomp! (To The Third Stage).
I land in the largest and softest pile of blankets ever assembled. They suck me in as I continue to fall. Slowly and softly. Until I am wrapped entirely in their warmth and comfort. It feels both red and blue. A low undulating noise reverberates in my body. I smile at how the fluffiness feels on my skin. And I cannot imagine being anywhere near the cold outside.
well, I would have to say it hurts. and keeps on hurting ... along with feeling pretty incredible, you are your happiest and your saddest. I saw him when I was 15 and never looked back - and now all these years later (35 to be exact) it still has all those elements - excitement, fear, passion (god, always passion - yes even now) - anger, angst and sorrow.
the only thing that starts to change (at least for me) is whether I can deal with the tumult the older I get ...
Are we talking about mutual love? If its one sided, that is very different from mutual falling in love.
I like what a lot of people have already said.
Before I fell in love, a lot of people told me that "I would know when I know" and I would have to say, in restrospect, that they were right. I had a few relationships where I questioned myself about how I felt but when I fell in love with the man who would become my husband (it will be 11 years married in April) I "just" knew....in a quiet, comforting, secure.....yet delirious way.
Falling in mutual love, at first, is exhilirating, breathless....and a bit novel. Its a bit like finding that elusive four leaf clover...."aha, I got you!" :) Its exciting, thrilling....makes you goofy.....yey it's also serene, calm, comforting, secure.....relaxing.
I do things, out of love, for my hubby that I never would have done for anyone else....and vice versa. There is a feeling of "we are in this together"...like "partners in crime". I don't get jealous or insecure because his love secures me.
Long term love has its ups and downs...highs and lows. And because of that, you still experience those times where you almost fall in love again and again....and feel those rush of emotions and thrills of glances...and more! :p I love looking at my husband looking back at me with THAT look....and feeling that rush.
The best compliment I ever received was when a long term friend, of ours, said to my hubby that he (our friend) wanted his girl-friend to look at him (our friend) that way that I look at my hubby.
Hi, this showed up on my Vox homepage, thought it was much more interesting than any QotD they've ever had.
I've been in love a few times, all of the other times I fell in lust.
Falling in lust: every time you look at them, you want to jump their bones. Your body tingles when you think about them. When you're near them, your body feels awake, anxious, heart pounds hard, like being on a roller coaster. When they're away, you fill with emptiness.
Falling in love: like a cross country road trip with someone you just met for the purpose of moving across the country or carpooling, you start with a premise that you're going to have a good time and the other person is not a psycho killer, but you don't know if you can get along yet. You drive, great weather, wind through your hair, stopping at different places to take photos, enjoy roadside oddities, you don't know a lot about this person but you're having a lot of fun, wildly attracted, but still cautious. Then you drive through a long tunnel, you're all alone in the dark, you have to rely on each other's company and trust because that's all you can do, and you learn about each other's fears, insecurities, faults. When you emerge from the tunnel, you can barely stand the sunlight. But once you can finally see, the person next to you is the most beautiful being you've ever seen, and realize that being with this person is the best part of your road trip, and you'd like to take a million road trips with this person even when the weather's bad, there's a traffic jam, and there's nothing to see.
hope floats. love is the ultimate hope ... you sit around imagining how nice a time you'll have with the person you love ... love is the feeling that everything is going to be just fine ...
the chemistry is amazing ... you fall in love and you feel all this nice things happening inside you ... you have a cheery, rosy outlook on the world ...
i am being purely logical ... honest ... am a big fan of things like chemistry and biology
Being in love is when you don't hide yourself, you are secure in your feelings and that they are returned. That you are you and they are themselves and you will champion for that person no matter what. It is painful and agonising. It is exhilarating and powerful and can make your day turn around in a second. But like every thing if you don't feed it and look after it, it can die.
It encompasses a world of emotion and can arise from anywhere, it can't be forced or learnt or grow in time, it is there if you open your eyes and when you look if you don't see it..walk away.
What does it feel like? Well, unlike some of the other comments here I think I can give a pretty short answer. It feels... "painful" for want of a better word. But It's a nice kind of pain. Kind of like how scratching is painful but feels good at the same time lol. The reason you "fall" in love with someone is because It's fairly helpless, I believe.
the simple words you hear everyday, but from that person.. they're unlike any other words.. the things you see beautiful only, if that person does it.. love is no one can make you happy when you're down, but that person.. love is nothing you can describe really...
it's the foolish smile with satisfaction.. it's the stupid silly things you don't realize you're doing 'till you go home, and when you memorize what you were doing, you laugh at yourself,, and you enjoy laughing at yourself...
Love is just like good and evil. Love is painful yet love is kind. Some people are happily in love others are miserable with their love life. It all depends on how someone projects love into their life.
this is one of those easiest, yet hard-to-answer questions of all time! falling in love is one of the greatest experience one can ever have.
it is seeing a black-and-white world as multi-colored. it makes you feel a lot positive when everything else is negative around you.
those are just a few cents from my head... love is such a vast subject... you can't even explain it in one sitting. you have to experience it to be able to talk about it. ^_^
i think i may have forgotten how it feels like. =P
Comments
i'm no expert, mind you ... but i'll offer you this:
it's the single most frightening-but-exhilirating experience. seriously.
I don't know what else to say. There's two kinds of love I've experienced, the first is hot and passionate and needy and feels a little like drug withdrawal, and the second is warm and comforting and you just want to have it with you every night. The second is what I chose to keep, and I'm glad I did. I just looked at him, and I knew. I knew that he was the one person who could force me out of myself.
Now I'm rambling. Sorry. :)
because i need something to take my mind off of things.....
i am a very independent person. i hate to cuddle, don't want to share the bed, and feel suffocated very easily. but when i really, really fell in love... it was the first time that i ever wanted to cry everytime i had to leave him. could not wait for him to call me. thought he hung the moon. could not bear to be lying next to him and not touching him. slept cuddled up with him. counted the minutes until i saw him. and i know that this sounds so so so very lame, but it's true. you stop thinking "i" and start thinking "we". he entered into my thinking all the time. i spent my moments trying to think of things to make him happy, when i wasn't basking in how lucky i was. on the other hand..... when we fought, and broke up a few times, and finally for good.... i have never, ever, ever had a pain come close to that. but that's for a different post.
There's two kinds of love I've experienced, the first is hot and passionate and needy and feels a little like drug withdrawal, and the second is warm and comforting and you just want to have it with you every night. The second is what I chose to keep, and I'm glad I did. I just looked at him, and I knew. I knew that he was the one person who could force me out of myself.
I'm going to have to agree with this. I think the first type of love described here is what you would describe as the first time you fall in love, your very first love that you'll always remember. The second is the one that you grow into, the mature type of love. Sometimes the first can grow into the second, but it definitely takes time. I wish I could describe it better, but it's definitely a feeling that hits you when you least expect it and sometimes all it takes is one moment, even the simplest one, to just know.
as we got to know each other and appreciate each other, it mellowed a little, sure. but it doesn't make our love any less passionate. it's a little more comfortable, but it's really nice. it's not boring. and it doesn't suck. ;P hehe.
both kinds of love are nice. and i guess i'm especially lucky that i got to have both kinds of love with the same person. :)
*end cheese* hehe :D
What a way to put love in perspective...
Well, Kendra dear, since you ask - I've had three serious relationships in my life. The first two my stomach hurt all the time, whether we were having a good time or not. The second time, in fact, my stomach hurt for twenty years until my divorce.
Two bad relationships are enough for anyone, especially when you've had one that lasted as long as that second one. So the third time I met a man I was interested in, I wasn't going to fall in love. Except a funny thing happened. From the first time we were together my stomach felt great, you know, sort of the way it feels after you've had a really fun laugh - that relaxed, floaty, happy feeling?
I decided maybe I should listen to my stomach this time. And that's when I realised I wasn't in love those first two times. It was more like I was in heat. I've been with this man through many bad and good things, including the death of a child.And though my stomach hurt for that and many other reasons, it still always feels best when I'm snuggled up to him.
As for the rest, I have to go with everything Grrrace said.
In conclusion, when you meet a man, TRUST YOUR STOMACH, NOT YOUR HORMONES.... Happy Valentine's Day!
Gee, everyone pretty much said what really needed to be said... guess the only thing left to be said is, that being in love is like swimming in the ocean. Tiring, exhilirating, easily overwhelming if you don't know what you're doing, full of dangerous things that will eat you alive, lots of nice things to see and do and hard to describe to someone who's never been.
Oh and you get really really wet... whichever way you want to take that statement :P
I could make more metaphors about it (I'm sure I could do something about that feeling of having sand in your swimmers...) but that would take the tone of your blog down to my level... we can't have that *grin*
well, the last time it happened (with fiance), it wasn't something i planned. in fact, at the time i was determined that wouldn't happened. i was just looking to have fun, and for nothing serious. but then one morning, while we were both getting ready for work, i just looked over at him while he was tying his tie. i was putting on my make up or something. and it just hit me. i could do this every morning for the rest of my life. it was totally out of the blue. but, i knew that this was going to be someone significant in my life, and someone i wanted to be around for the rest of it. it was just something i knew when i looked at him.
so, i'd say it's something you don't always plan. and not something you can force. and you'll know it when it happens. it's more of an indescribable feeling.
What it feels like? Sometimes it feels like I've taken Ecstasy. Sometimes it's warm, safe, comfortable, solid. Sometimes it is scary, like jumping off a tall building without knowing if there's a net below or not. So far, none of these feelings has ever stayed constantly in long or short relationships. It is a moving target.
Honestly, I could talk about love for hours on end. Im in love with it.
However, I will spare you and give just a brief snippetified version of some key things.
Im a very passionate person, always have been always will be. And I know what I like. I might not be able to articulate it, but I always *know* when I see it. Clothes, Music, Art, Women ... it doesnt matter. I think it has something to do with seeing the world in shades of potential.
For me, falling in love is basically a three stage process.
The first stage, I am ambling along with a smile on my face. Suddenly, I get this preternatural feeling in my body. As if I *just* realized that I am Wiley Coyote, and have walked off of a cliff. Im suspended in air for a moment, defying gravity - a bit confused. But I *know* that drop is coming, as I look down.
Fwooomph! (To The Second Stage)
Here is where it gets really crazy. I am keenly aware that I am plummeting. To what exactly? I am not sure. My body is too wrapped up in the moment to really question what is going on. All of my cells are firing. Screaming. It feels like the whitest noise I could possibly imagine. Smells are intense. I can feel the air around me, meandering along my skin. Vision is blurred in a tehcnicolor whirl behind the face of my attraction - who is in hyper focus. A vivid pallette of color. I can taste the anticipation, its sweet and salty at the same time. Like taffy.
All the while, Im falling quickly, overwhelmed and confuddled. Like the first time I went on a rollercoaster. My stunned brain wants to plug its ears and figure out why I am going down, but my stomach is going up.
And then Shoooomp! (To The Third Stage).
I land in the largest and softest pile of blankets ever assembled. They suck me in as I continue to fall. Slowly and softly. Until I am wrapped entirely in their warmth and comfort. It feels both red and blue. A low undulating noise reverberates in my body. I smile at how the fluffiness feels on my skin. And I cannot imagine being anywhere near the cold outside.
you know i'm still trying to figure this love thing out
but one thing i know - its comfortable....
here's one lesson i have learned: lessons on love
well, I would have to say it hurts. and keeps on hurting ... along with feeling pretty incredible, you are your happiest and your saddest. I saw him when I was 15 and never looked back - and now all these years later (35 to be exact) it still has all those elements - excitement, fear, passion (god, always passion - yes even now) - anger, angst and sorrow.
the only thing that starts to change (at least for me) is whether I can deal with the tumult the older I get ...
Are we talking about mutual love? If its one sided, that is very different from mutual falling in love.
I like what a lot of people have already said.
Before I fell in love, a lot of people told me that "I would know when I know" and I would have to say, in restrospect, that they were right. I had a few relationships where I questioned myself about how I felt but when I fell in love with the man who would become my husband (it will be 11 years married in April) I "just" knew....in a quiet, comforting, secure.....yet delirious way.
Falling in mutual love, at first, is exhilirating, breathless....and a bit novel. Its a bit like finding that elusive four leaf clover...."aha, I got you!" :) Its exciting, thrilling....makes you goofy.....yey it's also serene, calm, comforting, secure.....relaxing.
I do things, out of love, for my hubby that I never would have done for anyone else....and vice versa. There is a feeling of "we are in this together"...like "partners in crime". I don't get jealous or insecure because his love secures me.
Long term love has its ups and downs...highs and lows. And because of that, you still experience those times where you almost fall in love again and again....and feel those rush of emotions and thrills of glances...and more! :p I love looking at my husband looking back at me with THAT look....and feeling that rush.
The best compliment I ever received was when a long term friend, of ours, said to my hubby that he (our friend) wanted his girl-friend to look at him (our friend) that way that I look at my hubby.
I've been in love a few times, all of the other times I fell in lust.
Falling in lust: every time you look at them, you want to jump their bones. Your body tingles when you think about them. When you're near them, your body feels awake, anxious, heart pounds hard, like being on a roller coaster. When they're away, you fill with emptiness.
Falling in love: like a cross country road trip with someone you just met for the purpose of moving across the country or carpooling, you start with a premise that you're going to have a good time and the other person is not a psycho killer, but you don't know if you can get along yet. You drive, great weather, wind through your hair, stopping at different places to take photos, enjoy roadside oddities, you don't know a lot about this person but you're having a lot of fun, wildly attracted, but still cautious. Then you drive through a long tunnel, you're all alone in the dark, you have to rely on each other's company and trust because that's all you can do, and you learn about each other's fears, insecurities, faults. When you emerge from the tunnel, you can barely stand the sunlight. But once you can finally see, the person next to you is the most beautiful being you've ever seen, and realize that being with this person is the best part of your road trip, and you'd like to take a million road trips with this person even when the weather's bad, there's a traffic jam, and there's nothing to see.
the chemistry is amazing ... you fall in love and you feel all this nice things happening inside you ... you have a cheery, rosy outlook on the world ...
i am being purely logical ... honest ... am a big fan of things like chemistry and biology
It encompasses a world of emotion and can arise from anywhere, it can't be forced or learnt or grow in time, it is there if you open your eyes and when you look if you don't see it..walk away.
It's easy.
You should ask what's like to fall out of love.
the simple words you hear everyday, but from that person.. they're unlike any other words..
the things you see beautiful only, if that person does it..
love is no one can make you happy when you're down, but that person..
love is nothing you can describe really...
it's the foolish smile with satisfaction..
it's the stupid silly things you don't realize you're doing 'till you go home, and when you memorize what you were doing, you laugh at yourself,, and you enjoy laughing at yourself...
i don't know.. it's indescribable..
=)
Love is just like good and evil. Love is painful yet love is kind. Some people are happily in love others are miserable with their love life. It all depends on how someone projects love into their life.
falling in love is one of the greatest experience one can ever have.
it is seeing a black-and-white world as multi-colored.
it makes you feel a lot positive when everything else is negative around you.
those are just a few cents from my head...
love is such a vast subject... you can't even explain it in one sitting.
you have to experience it to be able to talk about it. ^_^
i think i may have forgotten how it feels like. =P
http://img02.picoodle.com/img/img02/7/3/8/f_Lovem_39da80c.jpg
( 13 signs you're falling in love... )
http://houstonsocialbutterfly.wordpress.com/2008/01/30/falling-in-love/